QUIT YOUR BITCHIN’

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."- Marcus Aurelius

Do you like to complain?

Does it feel good to wine and bitch about things that don’t go your way?

Does bitching about your problems actually make you feel better?

No one likes a complainer. You know those friends, family members, or co-workers that just bitch and complain about everything; the weather, other people, Democrats, Republicans, their job, or just life in general. We all know someone like that. And to be honest, you might be one of them. I can tell you that I sure as hell am.

I find myself complaining more often than not. I’m always looking for something to bitch about (especially at work) like there are no other topics to discuss besides talking shit about anyone and everyone. I’ve been like this most of my life and I fucking hate it. But what’s most bizarre about my choice to be an every day complainer is that I find most everyone around me doing the same shit. It’s like we attract like-minded bitchy people into our circle so we can all be miserable together. What kind of life is that??

This is where it becomes really interesting.

So I’ve told you that I am a complainer. It’s taken me a long time to admit that but it’s the truth. But after finally coming to grips with that and owning my behavior, I began to wonder why I decided to bitch and complain so often… I wasn’t doing any favors to those around me. I wasn't a very good friend or a positive influence. And I sure as shit wasn’t taking steps towards becoming a hero.

So why in the fuck did I complain so often???

The real answer is sick. Dopamine.

If you’re not familiar with dopamine, it is a chemical released in your brain that makes you feel good. For example, when you get a gift or achieve something really difficult, dopamine is released in your brain and makes you feel great inside. It’s almost like a drug. And to be quite honest, dopamine hits are satisfying when they are earned. When they are not earned, dopamine hits can be problematic. Some examples of unearned dopamine would be scrolling and getting likes on social media, watching pornography, and (big shocker here) talking shit and complaining like a little bitch! Though these types of things feel good for a minute, they are terrible in the long-term for your brain.

So why complain if it makes you feel like shit later? Because we all seek out that little drug hit. The only problem is that it is unearned and the pleasure is fleeting. Later on, we go back to feeling miserable because all we do is complain and think negatively about most things.

Think about the repercussions of that… Do you think that people want to be around a person who complains constantly? Hell no! It requires energy to hang out with negative people and you typically feel drained spending any amount of time with them. Do you think that positive people that want to succeed in life want anything to do with a whine bag? Absolutely. Fucking. Not. Successful people put a lot of time and effort into developing and maintaining a positive mindset so that they can put out good energy to the universe, all in order to receive good energy back into their lives. Why would they want to hinder their progress and spend any amount of time with some miserable fuck who complains about everything? That would be counterproductive for obvious reasons.

I know that everyone gets fed up and complains sometimes. It’s unfortunate but it is something that every person deals with. But what if you could be one of the few who takes control of this issue? What if you could stop yourself when you start complaining, and intentionally shift your words into being positive instead of negative? Because the truth is, you are either giving energy or you're taking energy from others. And those who tend to be the most successful in life are more often energy producers than energy consumers. They talk about the positives in life rather than dwelling on the negatives and talking shit about everything. This is what heroes do.

So quit your bitching and get to work!