ACKNOWLEDGE ME

"Freedom on the inside comes when validation from the outside doesn't matter." - Richie Norton

Do you like being acknowledged?

Being thanked for doing something good at work or at home?

Being praised when you do something important or special?

Lol, who the fuck are you kidding?! Of course you love being acknowledged! We all do!

Acknowledgement is a form of validation. Being acknowledged by someone else lets us know that we have been (or are doing) a good job. Maybe you accomplished some big project or have worked really hard to keep yourself and/or your family financially stable. That, in your mind, is worth some sort of acknowledgement. Whether it be in the form of appreciation, money, or awards, knowing that you did something well and being validated for it is something that we all seek out.

So why do you think that you enjoy acknowledgement so much?

Or why do you actively seek it?

Before I go down that rabbit hole, let’s start by talking about the people who say that they don’t like being acknowledged. That is total bullshit. Maybe the awards and accolades aren’t your driving factor, but to say you don’t like being recognized for doing a good job is a crock of shit. It feels good when someone appreciates you for what you have done. That is a basic human need for acceptance. My two cents is that you should own it instead of acting like it’s something that you don’t like or need.

Heading back to my earlier point, we want to be appreciated, liked, and respected by our peers. The fact is that knowing that you are succeeding at something is difficult for many of us to admit to ourselves; therefore we need others to do it for us. That sounds sad as fuck but it is the truth. I would argue that the only people on this planet that truly do not need acknowledgement are those who have completely accepted themselves (all of their flaws and strengths), and have nothing to prove to anyone else. Though that might be the goal for you and I, there are not many people out there that have that level of confidence and belief in themselves.

A few years ago, I was going through a situation with the community college district in which I worked. When they made it mandatory for all employees to take an experimental “medication”, I said no. This obviously led to a drawn out conflict between myself and the school district. As nervous as I was to stand up to the district and place my career on the line, I knew it was the right thing to do. After a few weeks of back and forth, I was placed on paid administrative leave and told to stay the fuck home until my contract expired.

What does this have to do with being acknowledged???

Well, I was riding high after standing up for my morals and my values. I didn’t believe in what the district was doing so while it wasn’t easy, I said “no”. Doing that made me feel like a fucking hero for a minute as I did what a lot of others were scared to do. To this day I am still proud that I made that decision. However, being proud of myself wasn’t enough. What I needed to continue that high was for others to acknowledge me. I needed other people to tell me how strong I was and how proud of me they were. That sounds really bad but it’s the fucking truth.

Once things began to die down with all of the shot nonsense, my fire went away. All of the people that had stood with me and given their support slowly began living their lives again (as they should). And there I was, once this brave person who stood up by himself against a school district, and now I was back to normal life.

I tell you that story to make a point. The point is that one instance of acknowledgement isn't enough to carry a person through a lifetime. It was a courageous decision at the time. I was praised for taking a stand (which felt great), but eventually the smoke cleared and the moment faded away. Continuing to seek approval, validation and acknowledgement from others would have turned into a virus. But the ability to continuously trust and believe in yourself to not need anyone else's approval is what heroes do. Do we all like a pat on the back? Sure. But at the end of the day we don’t fucking need it to continue doing well in our lives and achieving success. A hero trusts his/her own decisions, pats themselves on the back, and continues pushing forward in their own lives. Heroes don’t concern themselves with the opinions of others.

So acknowledge yourself. Trust that you are doing a good job. And when others praise you and acknowledge your work, thank them and move the fuck on to the next challenge. You got this!