FEAR OF FAILURE

"Let the fear of failure be the background noise of your success." - Giovanni Dienstmann

Are you scared to fail?

Do you talk yourself out of trying new things because you’re afraid?

Have you spent the majority of your life “in your lane” because betting on yourself is too scary?

I’ve spent most of my life afraid of failure. I do not want to let the people around me down so I do enough to keep that fear at bay. However, the fear of failing also overwhelms me. It literally tells me that I’m not good enough, and that I’m better off just doing enough to get by. How fucked up is that?

Let me give you an example…

A few weeks ago I signed up for my first Ultra Marathon. There were different options to sign up for (3 mile, 5 mile, 10 mile, or a 16.4 mile). I chose to register for the 16.4 mile race up through the mountains of Pocatello, Idaho. But here’s the kicker; I’m not what you would consider a runner. I have never run over 13 miles before in my entire life and here I am signing up for a 16-mile race. Why the fuck would I do that?

The majority of things I do nowadays are meant to push me past my so-called limits. But that isn’t the point of this blog post. The important part of this registration story isn’t about me signing up for something I haven’t done before…. It’s about what went through my head after I signed up.

When I registered for the event, it specifically said that there were no refunds. However, at any point in time, a runner could choose to drop down to one of the shorter runs if needed. That alone began fucking with my head as I began my 12-week training program.

“Ah, maybe I’ll just do the 10 mile race instead of 16.”

“Training for this is too difficult. I don’t have time to run in the morning because I have to lift.”

“I don’t want to be in the other runners’ way on the narrow trails.”

“I’m not sure what the altitude change is going to be like so maybe I should just not run. I don’t want to NOT finish.”

Honestly I’ve spent the last two weeks since registering trying to talk myself out of doing it. What kind of fucked up thought process is that?

Probably the same one you struggle with.

It’s difficult to push yourself to do or try something new. The reason being that this fear of failure has been instilled in your mind since you were a child. Maybe it’s not the fault of the people who raised you (as I’m sure they did their best) but you have been taught to essentially “stay in your lane.”

You don’t have what it takes to do what all these successful people do, right??

You weren’t born with the “can do” mentality that others have, right??

FUCK. THAT.

So maybe you weren’t raised with a success-driven mentality and that is ok. At the end of that day, it is no one else's fault or responsibility. YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. You just have a little more work to do to get yourself past the failure-based mentality that you’ve fought your entire life.

You are going to war with your entire existence and that is fucking hard. Trust me. But this is a war worth fighting because it requires you to push past all of the fears you’ve accumulated throughout your journey. And not only are you going to be challenged by yourself, but by others as well.

“Oh, you think you’re better than us now?”

“Who do you think you are?”

“Remember where you came from!”

Whether someone says it to your face or gives you a look that implies it, it still sucks. We’re all so hard on ourselves that when others judge us, it’s like pouring salt on an open wound. But in all seriousness, FUCK THEM. The people experiencing success in their life and who can push past their fear of failure will never be the one’s judging or mocking you. The only people that have negative comments and opinions about you and your ability to trust in yourself are those who can’t seem to get their own lives straight. They’re jealous that you have found a way to push past your fears and they haven’t. So in other words, their opinions don’t fucking matter.

This process is not an easy one. Unfortunately, there isn’t just one good battle where you choose to push past your fears and your whole life changes. This is an everyday war, where those same thoughts and fears that have been holding you back your whole life are going to poke their stupid heads out and remind you that they are still there. And that is when you get the opportunity to push through and challenge yourself.

It won’t be easy. It will take time and a lot of effort. But I promise you, it will be worth it.