FATHER OF THE YEAR

"A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men." -Gregory E. Lang

The one thing I’ve looked forward to more than anything else in my life has been becoming a dad. Now, less than a few months away from my baby girl being born into this world, a million different thoughts run through my mind.

Will I spend enough time with her?

How do I ensure that she is safe at all times?

How do I best support my wife as a stay-at-home mom raising our baby girl?

But the most important question that runs through my mind is:

What does it take to be the best dad for my daughter?

I like to think I know the answer to that question, but to quote one of my good friends,“There’s no manual to this parenting shit. You just learn as you go.”

When my wife and I first found out she was pregnant, I was convinced we were going to have a boy. To be honest, I feel that every man dreams of having a son to carry on his legacy. And being a male myself, I felt more comfortable with the idea that my first born would be a boy so that he could protect his younger siblings and be my protégé. When I found out we were having a baby girl, it rocked me for about a week. I couldn’t see my first born child as a girl. Who was going to protect her??

The simple answer took me a fucking week to figure out. That answer was ME.

What I realized was that being the dad to a baby girl was a different kind of responsibility. Not that I know from experience, but from asking my friends and watching how others raise their kids, little boys are a different breed. They are taught to be tough and strong. They are trained to protect and molded into men through experience. So what the hell does a little girl need from her dad then?

Love. Protection. Validation.

A little girl’s first love should be her daddy. He should show her how a man is supposed to treat a woman by treating both her and her mother with love and respect.

A little girl needs to feel safe. Believe it or not, women operate at their highest potential when they feel safe. It’s a natural fucking instinct (If anyone cares to argue that point with me then by all means, bring it!). A dad must protect his baby girl from harm at all costs. He must be prepared to fight off any potential threats, all while providing a safe home for her.

A little girl needs to feel validated. She needs to be reminded how smart, pretty and capable she is. She needs to be told that she can be and do anything that she wants, with enough determination and effort (This goes for little boys as well).

Now I’m not saying that raising a little girl is going to be more difficult than raising a boy, but it will be very different for me. I know this already and I’m technically not even a parent yet.

So what steps can I take right now to ensure that I am the father that my little girl needs me to be?

Loving her mother is great practice. This is my wife’s first child as well and her first time being pregnant. She’s going through a lot of changes with her body and trying to have the healthiest pregnancy that she can. She needs my support. She needs my love. She needs me to be there for her as much as possible.

As for protection, it is my responsibility to stay in great shape. To strengthen both my body and my mind, so that I can remain calm in difficult situations and physically protect my daughter and my wife from any type of danger. Choosing to do otherwise isn’t hurting me anymore… it’s affecting the two people I love most on this planet.

In regards to validation, I can continue to help validate and inspire those around me (that’s what this blog is for if you haven’t figured it out yet). Give those around me credit where credit is due. Let them know that they have what it takes to be whatever the fuck it is that they have always wanted to be. And remind them that we all fuck up but can overcome any setback with persistence and determination.

I think that many parents are under the impression that they’re going to change when their child is born. And to be real, they probably do change. But what if you can get ahead of the curve? What if you decide to get yourself right before your child comes into this world looking for love and leadership? Then what kind of parent could you be? What type of standard could you set for your family?

Again, there’s no manual for this shit. But the onus is on you to become the person you would want your children to look up to and emulate. And it’s never too early to start.