CAN YOU FIX IT FOR ME?

"Everything changes for the better when you take ownership of your own problems." - Robert Ringer

Do you enjoy fixing things?

Do you tinker around with projects or broken objects until they work correctly again?

What about personal stuff?

Do you try to fix others’ problems for them?

Or maybe even hope that they fix yours?

In many ways, we are all problem solvers. Every person loves overcoming obstacles or being able to resolve issues on their own. But as we progress forward as a society, there has been an ongoing theme of wanting our problems to be fixed by something (or someone) else. And all of us are in search of this magical problem solver.

I know many people (myself included) that have looked for the answer to all of life’s problems in a quote, a book, a YouTube video, or a podcast. We hear something that we think is useful and we want more of it; almost like an obsession. We continue to pour through all these motivational quotes, books, videos and podcasts in search of the “perfect” solution.

“That one fucking quote is going to fix everything.”

“That podcast changed my life.”

“The day I watched that YouTube video was the day I decided to make a change.”

While I will be the first to admit that books, podcasts, videos and quotes have helped me tremendously (especially over the past six years) they haven’t changed my life. They haven’t fixed anything for me. They are only resources and tools that I have used to improve myself mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And tools are only as good as the person using them. After all, a hammer can’t swing itself.

And speaking of tools….

If you don’t have your shit together, quit trying to give everyone else unsolicited advice.

First off, you won’t have any credibility. An example would be a heavily overweight person giving exercise or diet advice to someone else. Or a person in crippling debt doling out financial advice. Stay in your fucking lane.

Second, by giving advice to others while your own life is in fucking shambles, you are projecting your problems onto someone else. It probably feels good when other people listen to your bullshit on how to live their lives, but your problems are still there and subconsciously you know that.

Now, if you are truly passionate about putting out some of your own fires, then you have to dig deep into your fucking soul. You must have a conversation with yourself that is 100% honest and painful. You have to come to terms with your demons and let those mother fuckers out of the closet that you’ve had them locked in for years. And yes, they’re going to remind you of all the issues you’ve had your entire life. They will be ruthless, and will resurface the most painful and traumatic experiences you have ever gone through. And that’s ok. Because once you decide to look them dead in the eye and tell them to “Get fucked”, you will finally be able to implement all those different motivational and inspirational modalities you’ve acquired. If you can acknowledge that your problems exist, then you can understand them. If you can understand your problems, then you can begin taking the steps needed towards solving them.

I know you’re probably pissed off at me right now for calling you out….

“Who the fuck does Cory think he is? He doesn’t have his shit together. He has just as many problems as I do!”

That, my friend, is 100% correct. I work daily towards getting my shit together. I have all sorts of fucking problems that I have to work on. Some are more difficult than others. Honestly the worst part of it all is that to this day, I still hope that someone will come fix them for me. I’m a 33-year old man waiting for someone to step in and make my problems go away. But no one ever does. They’re my fucking problems and the only one who can resolve them is me, myself and I.

It’s my responsibility to let those demons out.

It’s my responsibility to implement the ideas from all of those resources and utilize those tools.

It’s my responsibility to figure my shit out so I can continue to move closer to being that hero that I know that I can become.

No one is coming to fix it for me.

And as for you? Well..you know the answer.